My Boss

I would say that my boss is a lot like most high-profile execs out there.


As his personal assistant, my job is to keep him as happy as possible without getting in his way. I manage his calendar, keep track of his contacts and strive to do my best to always make sure he is looking sharp.







My boss demands luxury. If the seats aren't heated and the chrome not shined, do NOT bother offering a ride.

Although he has a highly demanding and important schedule, he recognizes that it is in his best interested to volunteer some of his time to better his community. I do my best to only commit him to projects that are fun and stimulating - he has no patience for mindless, boring work.

When the Boss is invited to a social event, it is my job to find him the finest suit that reflects his true power and strength.

He has friends in high places. Occasionally I am asked to take him to visit with associates who live far. He travels best when I provide big screen entertainment and wholesome snacks.

My boss can charm anyone. You will find him in the middle of any social event, sharing a joke or giving a flirtatious wink. If laughter suddenly errupts, you can be sure he had a part in it.

On occasion, I am required to escort him to social dinners. He prefers his food prepared in front of him so he can be assured that he is consuming only the finest of ingredients. I was once fortunate to be his escort when he made the epic discovery that chopsticks function as both an eating utensil as well as a nose picker. I was so honored to be with him that day... even though he made me pick up the tab.

I have found that the secret to keeping my boss happy is to praise him for every great thing he does- even if it's his job anyway. You were nice to someone, well then, good job! You wiped your own butt, well- let's call your relatives and shout it from the roof tops. You gave someone something that wasn't yours anyway?... that's it, we're going out for ice cream! With bosses, it's all about stroking that ego. They'll keep you around forever, no matter how much they need to down size.

I suppose just like any other boss, there are times when no matter how hard I try, it doesn't seem good enough. He calls me in his office (aka, wherever he is standing) and blames me for all of the injustices in his life. There are days I want to remind him that the only reason he is successful is because of ME! Somedays I am tempted to throw in the towel and tell him that I'm retiring... to the Bahamas!

Then he throws me one of those winks and before you know it I'm offering to whip him up some eggs and fishsticks.

Yes, the Boss is as demanding as any other.

But I'm lucky enough in my line of work that it is perfectly acceptabe to smother my boss with hugs, kisses, nubbies and unexplainable love.

I have a feeling he's gonna keep me around for a while.