Jake's First Visit Alone for Dinner

Mar. 2

I sent the letter last night, and obsessively checked my email all day today.  By lunch time, I still hadn’t received a response.  Tyler and I had a lot of housework and projects to keep us busy. 

It was about 2:00 when we were cleaning our garage, I glanced down the street and saw a grandmother pushing a baby in the stroller.  I knew right away that it was him.  I whisper yelled to Tyler in the garage that “I see them, I see them!” and told him of my intentions to go talk to her.  He told me not to do anything of the sort and that they needed to approach us if they got the letter.  Soon, they were approaching the corner near our house, and she began to cross the street towards us.  I knew then that she had intentions of meeting us. 

I walked up to her and asked, “did you get my email?”, and with a huge smile she said “yes, honey we did.  We can't believe this is happening!”  She told me that Tom was sending a reply at the very moment.  She went on to explain basically the same story that was told to Melissa and Robin.  She got choked up as she explained how hard this is for them, and I just wanted to hug her tight.  I can’t imagine being in her shoes.  She said if they were any younger, they would raise him, but they just know it’s not right for him.  He deserves a family.  Tyler and I bent down and took a look at cute little Jacob (Jake) and said hello to him.  She didn’t stay long.  As she walked away I wondered 3 things:

1.       Did she notice the Guns N Roses music blaring from the garage?

2.       What did she think of the 20 neighborhood kids literally running out of our house ever so loudly?

3.       After seeing little Jake, I turned to Tyler and asked.  Do you think you really could love this little guy as your very own.   He immediately answered, "yes, absolutely I could!"

Once she left, I ran back in the house to see if Tom had sent his reply.  My heart jumped to see the email waiting there.  Here is his response:

Dear Robyn and Tyler,

Thank you for your wonderfully touching message about an opportunity for our grandson, Jake (Jacob Robert Carter); it drew tears from both Linda and me.

Jake was one year old last Wednesday, and we know we must make difficult decisions sooner-or-later. We are much slower in coming to terms with the emotional issues of such decisions than we are the intellectual understanding of putting Jake’s long-term welfare first.

Within our family, the important parties other than Linda and me are Jake’s mother, S, who has acknowledged she cannot successfully or reliably raise him due to her medical issues, and S's brother, J , who has the primary financial responsibility for his sister and nephew. J and S are Linda’s children and my stepchildren.

Assuming there are no problems, we would like you to meet us and Jake to see whether we all should consider the opportunity for Jake that you have warm-heartedly offered.  We hope to be in touch in a day or two.

Thank you, again, for reaching out to us.

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In the days between this letter and our meeting, I spent a lot of time crying and feeling a lot of anxiety and fear.  I have never dreamed of adopting, in fact, I have never wanted to.  I admire people who have, but always thought it wasn't for me.  There were many concerns to consider, but I could not deny the confirmation that I knew this was God's will.  Once I truly understood this, I was able to leave those concerns with Him and had a tangible peace throughout the process.  I was well aware of the challenges ahead, but it did not shake me.  It's the closest I have felt to God.  There have been many miracles throughout the process.  With every step of faith, the doors kept flying open. 

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March 12

Tonight we had a meeting with J his wife, A and Linda and Tom.  We went to 5 J’s Steakhouse out towards Spicewood.  We had a nice dinner and talked more about who we are.    They also explained a little bit about S's situation and the struggles she has had with mental illness. 

When Tyler answered that he was born and raised in Utah, Tom immediately asked, “Are you Mormon?” After replying that we indeed were, the table went silent.  I knew at that moment that it was possible that the conversation would be over.  After a moment J leaned forward and said, “I’ll just get straight to the point.  I used to work at Dell, and I’ve known many Mormons who were nothing but kind, good, hard- working people.  In fact, that gives me even more comfort, because I know that Mormons are all about family.”  As he said these things, I was filled with the Spirit, once again confirming that this is right and will happen.  I had a rapid slide show in my mind of many silhouettes of LDS people who have crossed paths with this family who have, through their good examples, opened the doors for us to adopt Jake.  Another reminder of how important it is that we live up to the standards and Christ-like qualities.  You never know who you will touch- bad, or good.  Our meeting ended well, with J saying that he would like to meet with Tyler alone on Friday. 



Brothers on a walk.  Logan giving him extra protection from the sun.